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Cyril, Slayer of Empires

It's a trout.


Capable of shooting forth jets of flame to smite the lame, the unworthy, and the insufficently silly. And also, for some reason, donkeys.

Actually, no it isn't. It's a high-tech flamethrower constructed using stock FLEET components and a healthy dose of Board ultratech - a custom weapon for Flax, blond-haired, sandwich-loving, demon-but-on-our-side to the masses. While shooting people isn't really his style, he accepted that sometimes the situation would demand a little hot flaming death.

Legend hath it that while he was brooding on this in the depths of the Funky Horror, a trout flew in through an open window and inspired him. Or at least, Flax's version of the legend hath it - everyone else just says he reused the chassis from one of those Singing Bass ornaments. Whatever the truth, he shoehorned a gas tank, ignition system, various high-tech power systems and a targetter into the "casing", and placed the trigger in a Humorous Spot. The tail forms the stock. Traditionalists will doubtlessly be glad to know that in an emergency Cyril can also be wielded as a two-handed club. The word "Notabishi" has been engraved down the rubberised ventral handgrip in honour of fishbulb42, the weirdness-smith who assisted Flax in Cyril's construction.

Still has that weird tendency to go off when pointed at a donkey, though.


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