Steve and Waldo

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n.

The satanists in CRFH. They're not able to summon demons by themselves, but both Satan and some minor demons (including fake ones, see [1] ) appeared in their place, usually coming after Dave's soul. See Chester, S&M-A, The Devil's Avocado.



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Waldo Adams and Stephen Archer

By and large, the Board consider themselves a pretty cosmopolitan, sympathetic lot. They see a great many terrible things, and a great many motives for doing them, and still manage to maintain a degree of optimism concerning the rightness of their cause and the general worth of humanity.

And yet nobody likes Waldo and Steve.

In fact, one of the "bonding rituals" beloved of Board armour battalions is the Blackadder-esque "Ceremony of Desecration", where the entire unit take it in turns to spit or otherwise discharge bodily fluids on portraits of the two.

Nobody likes Waldo and Steve.

Waldo and Steve are probably, in terms of success rate, the most powerful Evil Sorcerers of the 20th and 21st centuries. And they achieved this by basically having a room in the right place. For when the Adversary shuffled off the potential mortal host for His seed to an obscure college, He needed greedy, ambitious mortals to keep an eye on His investment.

He found Waldo and Steve. A pair of pathetic "Dark Sorcerers" who essentially got into occultism (cheap occultism, with enough tacky ornaments to make even the most preppy goths blanch) because they thought it was easier than exam revision or hoped it would attract girls.

All in all, the Board have to concede He made a good choice here. For His patronage has given Waldo and Steve more power than they could ever possibly have dreamt of - in small doses. Occasionally, when it would further His plans, they suddenly find their every dark dream of themselves and their powers fulfilled.

The effect on the poor souls nearby tends to be comparable to giving a pyromaniac the keys to a nuclear silo – he doesn't have a clue how to actually launch any nukes, but he can certainly push people down the stairs or start fires with the fuel. So it is with Waldo and Steve, who haven't got a clue what they're doing but do it because it looks cool. In the process, they have managed to cause untold devastation, earn the massive envy of serious dark magicians, and actually be the only people on the planet to kill Dave. Which is quite an achievement, all things considered.

Of the two, Stephen seems to have the most ambition and initiative. His motives appear to be the classic ones, namely wealth, power, and sex, but he'll settle for visiting as much destruction on the outside world as he can, for "mocking" him. Waldo is cruder, less intelligent, and prone to simply trying to kill things with demented glee - his primary motive seems merely to be upsetting his strongly religious parents. Board efforts to discover their "true names", the ones they use for conjuration and can thus be magically attacked through, have so far failed. M-Division harbour a nasty suspicion that they don't even have any – such little sacrifices to the ego being too much to expect.

Both of them are grotesquely fawning and obedient whenever their master shows up, of course, which He does via their fridge. FLEET have had to be forcibly restrained from launching ortillery strikes at this fridge, and even now work on ways to cut it out of the apartment structure without incinerating the rest of the building – or even just waiting for everyone valuable to be out for the afternoon. No-one doubts that a full armoured assault would successfully terminate them, but few are willing to risk the potentially disastrous collateral damage.

Still, they have to be somewhere alone someday. And when they do, the Board will be waiting...

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